


Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, or when you are weak then you are strong

by Lothiriel84



Series: Let's Talk About Me [4]
Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: F/M, Gen, Meta, Nonfiction, Spoilers for Episode: Zurich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 10:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6654949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothiriel84/pseuds/Lothiriel84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carolyn Knapp-Shappey and the art of war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carolyn Knapp-Shappey, or when you are weak then you are strong

**Author's Note:**

> All transcripts are courtesy of Ariane DeVere.

  

 

> Carolyn: Oh, stop it. Just stop it, will you? I need you to get us out of this. This is serious.  
>  Douglas: No it isn’t! As it happens, I don’t even have the answer. I mean, the fire truck’s easy enough, but not the rest of it. But in any case, we both know that if you really want to get away, you can.  
>  Carolyn: How?  
>  Douglas: By swallowing your pride and paying the man.  
>  Carolyn: What with?!  
>  Douglas: With a little tiny bit of all your money.  
>  Carolyn: I don’t have any money.  
>  Douglas: Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I’ve seen your house; I’ve seen your car. I am currently standing underneath your aeroplane.  
>  Carolyn: I had money. Eight years ago I had money after the divorce – more money than I knew what to do with – and, as you say, an aeroplane – more aeroplane than I knew what to do with. But then I started to run an air charter business. Now I have three mortgages on the house. I have to keep the car because I have to have something smart to pick clients up in, and I have to keep the plane because … well, the minimum number of planes for a viable airline is one. But I don’t have any money. Why do you think I’m always going on at you two for how much you spend? D’you think I enjoy it?  
>  Douglas: Well … yes.  
>  Carolyn: Yes, well, all right, I do a bit. But also, literally every trip we do has the potential to bankrupt the company – and this one could bankrupt me.  
>  Douglas: Gosh. I had no idea.  
>  Carolyn: No. Well.  
>  Douglas: But, if you’ve been losing all this money, why have you kept on doing it all these years?  
>  Carolyn: Because I am the Chief Executive Officer of MJN Air. It’s a good thing to be. It’s better than … (she sighs) … a little old lady.  
>  Douglas: I see.
> 
> \- _Douz_ -

This dialogue is probably the one that better sums up the essence of Carolyn Knapp-Shappey. She _is_ a strong woman, make no mistake - but her ruthlessness is mostly an act she puts on in order to conceal her vulnerabilities.

Just think of it. She spent most of her life around arrogant people - her sister Ruth for one, and then that bastard that answers to the name of Gordon Shappey. (It’s not clearly stated in the show, but I strongly headcanon Gordon as the kind of abusive husband and father who would make family life a living hell. Even more so since he clearly treats their son like dirt, something that would hurt Carolyn far worse than anything else Gordon might have done to her.)

It’s only natural that she feels the need to reaffirm her independence and her ability to take her own decisions now that she’s finally her own woman. Nobody gets to tell her how to live her life, nor how to run her own company - no matter that it has turned into a loss-making company that could fold at any moment. As she is forced to admit to Douglas, that’s still better than being just a little old lady - someone who would either be pitied or laughed at, someone who would be once again forced to accept other people taking control of her life. 

(And, yes, she does swallow her pride in order to admit as much. That’s probably why Douglas immediately drops his petty rivalry with Martin, turning his attention back to saving the day rather than getting one up on his superiors who supposedly wronged him.)

MJN Air is the one thing that’s truly hers. _My Jet Now_ \- that’s a name Carolyn probably picked in order to spite her ex-husband, but I think it also has a lot to do with reaffirming her place in the world. Her jet, her company, her rules. She is ‘Sir’, the master of her own destiny, and if that means she is eventually doomed to go down with that ship - or plane, as it happens - then so be it. 

That’s why she is so uncharacteristically upset when Ruth reminds her of her present and past failures. As she will later admit in Wokingham, Ruth still makes her feel like a five-year-old - someone who is constantly told off for attempting to make her own choices, and by insufferably patronising know-it-alls at that. 

 

 

 

> Ruth: You’ve done it again, haven’t you, Carol?  
>  Carolyn: Carolyn.  
>  Ruth: You’ve done what you always do. You’ve bitten off more than you can chew. Run an airline? You couldn’t run a sweet shop!  
>  Carolyn: I didn’t want to run the sweet shop. And I never said it was an airline. It’s a charter plane, and I can run it. I’ve run it for twelve years.  
>  Ruth: Yes, and look at the state of it. Your plane’s falling to bits; you’ve a Nissen hut for an office; and you’ve a daft pilot who fights children. You’ve messed it up, Carol. You’ve made a muck of it, just like at school, and with the shop, and with both your marriages.  
>  Carolyn: I-I-I don’t … You can’t …  
>  Arthur: Hey! Shut up! You … horrible aunt!
> 
> \- _Helsinki_ -

That’s the thing about Carolyn. She might enjoy reaffirming her position and her image as a formidable woman and the alpha dog of her company - but from her perspective that has less to do with actually enjoying it, and more with hiding the (albeit rare) chinks in her armour. Hence the necessity to occasionally put one Douglas Richardson back in his place, and above all the plethora of rude customers she is forced to be polite to because she needs the money in order to keep her company running. 

 

 

 

> Carolyn: Yes, Martin! Everyone who’s ever met you knows you’re the captain, but I am the alpha dog.  
>  Douglas: You say that, Carolyn, but …  
>  Carolyn: I do say that, Douglas, yes; because if you’d seen the documentary you’d know that what makes an alpha dog is not languid put-downs, it’s providing the pack with their food, their shelter, their pay, their hotel rooms, and – most of all – their aeroplane.  
>  Douglas: Goodness. I wish I had seen it now.
> 
> \- _Ipswich_ -
> 
> Douglas: What happened to “our very best customer service”?  
>  Carolyn: Well, firstly, everyone’s palate is shot at thirty-five thousand feet and he’ll never notice; and secondly, he calls me Babushka.  
>  Douglas: And yet he lives.
> 
> \- _Molokai_ -

This brings us to a rather interesting source of character development for Carolyn, which is her budding relationship with Herc Shipwright. Both Douglas and Martin might have been more than slightly baffled when Carolyn accidentally mentioned being interested in meeting someone in _Limerick_ , but the thing is, she isn’t adverse to romance per se. The one thing she would never forgive herself is being ‘soppy’ about it, which is why her getting close to Herc resembles more a battle of wits than anything else. 

I know little to nothing about romance myself, and yet I’m fairly sure that what attracts Carolyn to Herc is his inclination to be the Benedick to her Beatrice. They banter all the time, and Carolyn does make fun of him on more than one occasion, but in the end they both enjoy it - and while neither of them is willing to concede defeat, they eventually find themself in a position where they’re both equally free to just be themselves.  

 

 

 

> Carolyn: Ah, Herc. It’s Carolyn Knapp-Shappey here. Are you still free today?  
>  Herc: Oh, hello. Yes, I am.  
>  Carolyn: Yes, well, to my great disappointment, various better offers have fallen through and I am, in fact, reluctantly available for that lunch and dog walk you were nagging me about.
> 
>  […]
> 
> Herc: Hello, Carolyn.  
>  Carolyn: Oh, there you are. You’re late.  
>  Herc: We didn’t set a time.  
>  Carolyn: You’re later than I imagined you’d be.  
>  Herc: Then you clearly don’t have a very vivid imagination.  
>  _(Carolyn’s dog starts yapping.)_  
>  Carolyn: Hello, darling. Did you hear the silly late man?  
>  Herc: Oh, hello. What a ridiculous dog.  
>  Carolyn: I’m sorry?  
>  Herc: I said you have a ridiculous dog.  
>  Carolyn: My dog is not ridiculous.  
>  Herc: Then whose dog is this?  _(To the dog)_  Hello there.  _(To Carolyn)_  What is she?  
>  Carolyn: She is a cockerpoo.  
>  Herc: Oh! A cockerpoo. Obviously I’d never have called her ‘ridiculous’ had I known she was a cockerpoo.  
>  Carolyn: It is a cross between a poodle and a …  
>  Herc: … cockatoo?  
>  Carolyn: A cocker spaniel. And she’s not ridiculous. She happens to be a noble and faithful hound.  
>  Herc: Mmm-hmm. What’s she called?  
>  Carolyn: … Doesn’t matter.  
>  Herc: What?  
>  Carolyn: Her name is not important. Right – I thought we’d have lunch first, then walk after.  
>  Herc: Oh. I’d rather walk first, work up an appetite.  
>  Carolyn: Fine. I’ll see you when you finally get to the pub then. I’ll be the one looking full.
> 
> […]
> 
> Carolyn: Hercules, are you frightened of sheep?  
>  Herc: No. No I’m not, no.  
>  _(Carolyn bleats.)_  
>  Herc: Stop it.  
>  Carolyn: You are! You’re frightened of sheep! You’re frightened of little woolly baa-lambs!  
>  Herc: No, no, I am not! Little baa-lambs I can take in my stride. It’s big, mean, hooved, horned beasts that I don’t like.  
>  _(Carolyn bleats again.)_  
>  Herc: Stop it! It’s not funny!  
>  Carolyn: If I can just pick you up on a small point there, Herc …  _(she starts giggling)_  … It is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!  
>  Herc: It’s not, actually. Why do people always react like this?  
>  Carolyn: Yes. Though, of course, now … now I understand the vegetarianism. You fear reprisals. The midnight raid on your house; twelve balaclava’d ewes with a thirst for revenge, a jar of mint sauce and a murderously sharp sprig of rosemary.  
>  Herc: I’ll see you back at the car!
> 
>  - _Ottery St Mary_ -
> 
> Herc: Er, i-if I could just clarify that a little. Do not call her, no matter what happens.  
>  Carolyn: Don’t listen to him. Call me if anything goes wrong, or if we get any bookings.  
>  Herc: Those are just two of the circumstances under which you should not call. Other such circumstances include the following: any circumstances.  
>  Carolyn: Ignore him.  
>  Herc: Ignore her.  
>  Douglas: What a peaceful holiday you two are going to have.  
>  Carolyn: It is not a holiday; it is a … trip.  
>  Herc: It’s a holiday – the first holiday I’ve had for years.
> 
> \- _Vaduz_ -
> 
> Martin: So you’ve gone to a great deal of trouble, and expense, to get him the worst possible birthday present you can imagine.  
>  Carolyn: Exactly! Isn’t it – isn’t it perfect?  
>  Martin: _(hesitantly)_  In … in a way.  
>  Carolyn: Well, don’t look at me like that. It’s what we _do_. Last Christmas, he bought me tickets to Glyndebourne.  
>  Martin: But I thought you said you quite like opera now.  
>  Carolyn: Yes! And I also said _that_ is a deep dark secret and you mustn’t ever tell him.  
>  Martin: Why not?  
>  Carolyn: Well, firstly, because I’m not giving him the satisfaction of thinking he was right about me liking it if I tried it …  
>  Martin: But he _was_ right about it.  
>  Carolyn: No he wasn’t! And secondly, because as long as he still thinks I hate it, he’ll keep buying me tickets for it, but secretly I’ll be enjoying it, so I win!  
>  Martin: Yeah. Yeah. You win the relationship.
> 
> \- from the _Interview with John Finnemore_ featured in the CP box set -

The one thing Carolyn isn’t anywhere ready to admit is that she does actually care. That has something to do with both her and Herc’s several failed marriages, but more than that it’s about her fear of appearing weak and thus putting herself in a vulnerable position. 

 

 

 

> Carolyn: Oh, honestly, Herc. It’s not a big deal.  
>  Herc: Well, in fact, it is a bit, because it’s important to me that we spend time together …  
>  Carolyn: Oh, don’t.  
>  Herc: … because I love you.  
>  Carolyn: _(tightly, awkwardly)_ Yes. So you keep saying.  
>  Herc: I do, don’t I?  
>  Carolyn: Yes. Yes, and I wish you wouldn’t. It makes you sound like a Disney toy.  
>  Herc: Actually, Disney didn’t come up with the concept of expressing love. Other people have found it important as well.  
>  Carolyn: Well, who?  
>  Herc: Most of humanity.  
>  Carolyn: Well, there you are, then. You know what chumps they are.  
>  Herc: Who, humanity?  
>  Carolyn: Yes, by and large.  
>  Herc: … Well, granted. But still.
> 
> […]
> 
> Herc: Thank you for staying.  
>  Carolyn: Yes, yes, yes. You already said that.  
>  Herc: And I’m saying again: I really appreciate you staying.  
>  Carolyn: Yes-yes-yes. All right, fine.  
>  Herc: Because …  
>  Carolyn: Yes-yes, thank you. That’s lovely.  
>  Herc: … I love you.  
>  Carolyn: Yes, I am aware. The information has been duly noted. Thank you for your feedback.  
>  Herc: And do you …?  
>  Carolyn: _(her voice getting increasingly high-pitched)_ No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!  
>  Herc: No?  
>  Carolyn: Not, ‘No, the answer’s “No”,’ … ‘No, don’t ask.’  
>  Herc: So the answer’s not no.  
>  Carolyn: I said, ‘Don’t ask’; don’t ask, don’t tell, like gay American soldiers before two thousand and eleven.  
>  Herc: Well I’m not a gay American soldier before two thousand and eleven; I am, in fact, none of those things. And I am interested in whether or not you feel as strongly about me as I do about you.  
>  Carolyn:  Why? Look, we’re-we’re doing very well as we are. Why-why can’t we carry on like this?  
>  Herc: But what if we wanted to get married?  
>  Carolyn: But we don’t want to get married, though, do we? Not in the least tiniest little bit.  
>  Herc: I might want to.  
>  Carolyn: Yes, Hercules, but let’s face facts: you wanting to get married is like other people wanting to sneeze. Besides, ‘Knapp-Shappey’ is bad enough as a surname. I’m damned if I’m going to become ‘Knapp-Shappey-Shipwright’.  
>  Herc: Yes, I see what you mean. It does sound a bit like a soft shoe shuffle.
> 
> […]
> 
> Herc: Well, nor do I. Fifty-six year old pilots are far less in demand that you’d think.  
>  Carolyn: I’d assume they’re in no demand whatsoever.  
>  Herc: I realised, even as I said it, I was talking to the wrong person.  
>  Carolyn: Well, you should go.  
>  Herc: Oh. Should I?  
>  Carolyn: Yes, of course you should. I don’t want you to give up your job for me. I’m not asking you to do that.  
>  Herc: You don’t want me to stay?  
>  Carolyn: Well, I-I … I’m not asking you to stay.  
>  Herc: I understand that. Do you want me to stay?  
>  Carolyn: … I don’t want you … not to stay.  
>  Herc: I will stay if you want me to.  
>  Carolyn: I don’t want to be the reason you stay.  
>  Herc: Yes. That’s noted. The thing is, though: you would, as it happens, be the reason I stay, if I stay. How do you feel about that?  
>  Carolyn: … I don’t know.  
>  Herc: Don’t you? That’s okay. No. Mull it over, though.
> 
> \- _Vaduz_ -

Ultimately it’s up to Herc to prove that Carolyn is safe with him - that his intentions are serious, and more than that, that the choice is ultimately hers and hers only. She would still get to be the master of her own destiny, something Gordon probably denied her all along.

 

 

 

> Carolyn: You’re very quiet.  
>  Herc: I was just taking in the plan. I am right in thinking it’s entirely based on finding buried treasure? I’m not missing a subtlety?  
>  Carolyn: No, no, I know how it sounds but Douglas was  _very_  convincing.  
>  Herc: Yeah, all right. Supposing he’s right and there  _is_  a fortune on GERTI somewhere. What will you do with it?  
>  Carolyn: Well, re-start MJN, of course.  
>  Herc: Of course.  
>  Carolyn: I’m sorry, Herc, but I really don’t want to move to Zurich, and I can hardly ask you to move back to Britain.  
>  Herc: Why not?  
>  Carolyn: Well, why  _would_  you? And don’t say, ‘Because I love you.’  
>  Herc: I won’t say it, but I shall think it really quite loudly.  
>  Carolyn: Herc!  
>  Herc: Why do you hate me saying it so much?  
>  Carolyn: I don’t  _hate_  it so much anymore but … well, you do say it easily, Herc, to each of your four previous wives, for instance, and Lord knows how many girlfriends. What’s different this time?  
>  Herc: Well, for instance, the colour of your hair.  
>  Carolyn: My what?  
>  Herc: Your hair is white.  
>  Carolyn: _(dangerously)_  It is.  
>  Herc: Would you care to guess how many of my four wives and – as you are right to imagine – countless girlfriends have had white hair? I’ll give you a clue: it’s none. A preponderance of brunettes, some blondes, the odd redhead, but you are absolutely the first whitehead.  
>  Carolyn: What a novel way you’ve chosen to end our relationship.  
>  Herc: My point is that you are not remotely my type – and you’re right, you are not the first woman I’ve loved. But you are – to my complete surprise and frankly, at first, dismay – the first woman I’ve ever fallen in love with … you know, like a teenager. It was on our second date – Rigoletto. It wasn’t the look of pure rapture on your face; it was the look of bored contempt you assumed when you saw me looking.  
>  Carolyn: Oh, Herc.  
>  Herc: But I didn’t decide to marry you until the day you flew to Ireland to buy me a stuffed sheep just because you knew how much I would detest it.  
>  Carolyn: _No-one_  decides to marry me.  _I_  decide to marry  _them_.  
>  Herc: Of course. And do you so decide?
> 
> \- _Zurich_ part 2 -

That’s one more example of how John Finnemore is an absolute genious and a fantastic writer. The speech Herc gets to deliver here is probably the best declaration of love ever, and I will defend to the death this opinion of mine - both as a hopelessly romantic person (as far as fiction is concerned), and an aromantic asexual who can’t help wanting to run away when people kiss in the street. 

However, the icing on the cake comes when Carolyn is finally ready to admit her love for Herc - and does so by putting each of the men in her life in their rightful place. Because, you know, Herc might be the man she loves - but Douglas is her friend and the man who ultimately saved her company and thus her independence, and it’s only right that she acknowledges as much by giving the captaincy to him rather than to her soon-to-be husband.

(And yes, she does decide to marry Herc in the end, but that doesn’t mean she has to be soppy about it. Thank goodness - and John Finnemore - for that.)

 

 

> Carolyn: I shall advertise for a new pilot in the morning.  
>  Herc: Well, given our recent discussion, Carolyn, and assuming you haven’t revised your opinion about stupid Zurich and its stupid clocks, I suppose I should be looking for a job in this country.  
>  Carolyn: But Herc, I can’t possibly match your salary, not even close!  
>  Herc: No, no, but as discussed, I love you, and will do anything to be with you, so you have me rather over a barrel there. Besides, you can’t put a price on the fun I shall have being Douglas’ captain.  
>  Douglas: Oh, God.  
>  Carolyn: Herc.  
>  Herc: Yes?  
>  Carolyn: I love you, Herc; but  _Douglas_  will be captain.
> 
> […]
> 
> Carolyn: Drivers. Now look: Arthur made them, but he’s busy in the galley. This does not count as me bringing you coffee.  
>  Douglas: Thank you, Mrs. Ship…  
>  Carolyn: _(interrupting)_  Don’t you dare.  
>  Herc: Wayne Sleep and Rick Wakeman.  
>  Douglas: Yes!  
>  Carolyn: What’s this?  
>  Douglas: Arch Enemies.  
>  Carolyn: Oh! Erm … Ruby Wax and John Wayne.  
>  Douglas: Excellent!  
>  Carolyn: Naturally.
> 
> \- _Zurich_ part 2 -

In conclusion, Carolyn’s journey is all about discovering the people she can trust - Douglas, Martin, Herc - and realising she is allowed to be weak in front of them because ultimately they’re not going to use her weakness in order to take advantage of her. 

Bantering and silly bets notwithstanding.


End file.
